


Fitz Mourns

by Shaebae



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26529937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaebae/pseuds/Shaebae
Summary: "He wasn't allowed to cry for Ward, not in front of his friends, but here, alone, he could take the time to mourn, give himself the hour, watch the candle flicker as he wished so desperately that things could be different, that things would be different."Fitz takes the time to mourn Grant Ward, once all is said and done.
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Grant Ward
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	Fitz Mourns

"Happy birthday, Ward." Fitz whispered, alone in the dark. The living room was empty, and he was glad for it. This little ritual had been difficult when Alya was a baby, demanding attention at all hours, and he'd almost been found out. Every year since Ward had passed, he'd taken an hour to mourn.

One hour, at midnight, every year, he lit a candle. Sometimes he prayed, like he planned to tonight. Sometimes he prayed for Ward to be well where he was, taking care of himself in the afterlife, learning a better way to be than what he was. Sometimes he prayed to god. Sometimes he prayed to hell. Sometimes he prayed to Ward himself. He never received an answer, as the tears streamed down his face and he mourned for the man who was once his friend. 

As midnight arrived, he lit the candle, tears already forming in the corner of his eyes. He wasn't allowed to cry for Ward, not in front of his friends, but here, alone, he could take the time to mourn, give himself the hour, watch the candle flicker as he wished so desperately that things could be different, that things would be different.

There hadn't been enough time to convince Ward he could be good. There hadn't been enough time to help him free of Garrett, and his own anger had kept him from being forgiving when the opportunity arose. Instead he'd nearly killed the man, trying to describe what had happened to him, and his mind. Instead, he'd screamed at him. Instead, he hadn't forgiven. He'd hurt him. He'd let him be sold. He'd let his wife try to murder him. 

Ward's non-apology had made things worse in Fitz's mind. Why Ward couldn't have just genuinely apologized, was baffling at the time. 

Mistakes were made-

By you.

And people were hurt-

By you.

He wished he could save Ward from himself. From his pride, from his obedience, from his struggles and strife and his parents and his brother and Garrett and Coulson.

But Ward had his place in the timeline. If Fitz were to go fiddling with that...

Every year since Alya had been born, he'd considered it. Considered bulding another time machine, and kidnapping Grant Ward, raising him as his own. Every year he'd dismissed the fantasy for what it was. Grant Ward had a place in the timeline. And yet they'd taken Sousa from his. Why couldn't they do the same for Ward? Because Ward's place in the timeline had changed them all. It had changed him, had changed May and Coulson, had changed Daisy and Jemma, had changed everyone coming after.

Ward had to stay where he was.


End file.
